Whenever I’m going through a lot in life I like to remind myself of all the other times that seemed so hard and heartbreaking. Everything always works out.
I might have some long days and I might not give a shit about analyzing contour maps for hydrogeology. It’s work. Work towards my future.
One day I hope I’ll be where I want to be. I want to live near the ocean with my sweet dog. I want to meditate and do yoga as much as possible. I want to laugh and realize I am a fucking idiot every day of my life.
1. I will NEVER live with another cat!!!!
2. I will buy a Dracula verticulosa
3. I will buy a shit ton of other plants
4. I will have a dishwasher
5. I will have a decent job
6. I will have a decent place
7. I will have a yoga area
8. I will have a fenced in back yard
9. I will be 25
10. Zoe will get a job
Selecting the best time to start and stop. Maximize reward or minimize cost.
Go go go
All of your flaws and all of my flaws,
When they have been exhumed
We’ll see that we need them to be who we are
Without them we’d be doomed
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to admit when I’m wrong. Surrender my ego and admit that I’m an idiot, selfish, immature, narcissistic, mean spirited, jealous, and fucking wrong about a lot of things.
Acknowledging that I suck has been one of the best things I have ever realized. I was driving to the lake in the dark a few weeks back and I recognized it. I am capable of being such an asshole.
I started thinking about how that’s the difference between being an adult and a child. You know when you’re wrong and you let go of that need to be in the right all the time. You don’t feel just in your actions because you know they came from insecurities. When you talk shit about someone or you’re in a bad mood you know it’s because you suck, it has nothing to do with anyone else.
I can be the worst person in the entire world. I’m accountable for it. I now tell people rather than acting justified for my feelings or actions. “I’m so sorry I’m such an asshole right now. Please know it has nothing to do with you. I suck right now.”
I used to think being spiritually aware was removing all of these asshole moments, like they would never exist. Perhaps one day I’ll get to the point where I’m always a lovely perfect person. But for now I’m going to take in the good with the bad and acknowledge both. In recognizing my bad moments and attributes I’ll bring an awareness and shine light into the darkest depths of my soul. Exhume the bad. Apologize. Accept my flaws.